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Monday, October 23, 2017

The Feminine Corollary

Continued from Part 1

A solid definition of masculinity goes a long way to helping men live masculine lives. Men are only half of humanity though. How does the other half define their lives? What is femininity?

Part 2: I Don’t Know Much About Femininity, But I Know What I Like

You don’t need a degree in women’s studies, psychology or  anthropology to understand femininity.  Femininity might be difficult to pin down, but people tend to recognize it without a formal definition. 

It’s common to view femininity as the “opposite” of masculinity.  But if masculinity is mastery, what is masculinity’s opposite?  To explore that, we have to explore the meaning of “opposite”.  Seriously.

Understanding Complementary Opposites

Western society has a scientific view of the world, a strictly logical view.  This strictly logical view can lead to some flawed outcomes.  In one view, if a thing with the simple name, A, has an opposite thing, named B, then we can say that B is “not A”.  If we combine B and A, we’re combining A and (not A) and the logical result is null, or nothing.  A and (not A) negate each other.  This is fine in the pure world of mathematics, but this is a flawed result in the real world of people, ideas and concepts.  It’s easy to say that (-1) + 1 = 0, but what cancels out love?  Is it hate?  What cancels out happiness?  Is it sadness?  Does femininity cancel out masculinity?  Some people actually believe this. 

Eastern philosophies have embraced a different view of the world, a much more flexible and sensible view.  Eastern societies seem to be more comfortable dealing with flexible views.  Some definitions are different from the mathematical / scientific definitions.  One example from Eastern philosophy is the Dao, or the yin-yang symbol.  I talk about it here.  Yin and yang are complementary opposites. They do not negate each other; they do not cancel each other out.  They are different from each other, yet they fit together, complement each other and form a perfect whole.  Where the yang is small, the yin fills in the space,  Where the yin is small, the yang fills the space.  They both carry some of the other inside themselves.

The Dao, the way of the universe, is defined by the interaction of the two, to create one-ness.  Without both, there is no unity of Dao.  

Masculinity and femininity are examples of yang and yin, the complementary opposites that interact to create a whole of human relationships.  Without both, there is no human society.

From the previous article: 
“Using the concept of complementary opposites, masculinity exists in relationship to femininity; femininity exists in relationship to masculinity.  We can only understand the concept of masculinity when it is compared to femininity, and understand femininity when it is compared to masculinity. “  

Masculinity and femininity do not cancel each other out; that’s an embarrassingly flawed view of the world.  Instead, consider this view: where masculinity is weak, femininity fills the gap.  Where femininity is weak, masculinity fills in the gap.  Both carry some of the other within themselves.  This is the postulate behind the rheteric.com interpretations of femininity and masculinity.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Sick and Angry? Me too.

It’s only a few days after the Harvey Weinstein revelations made big news and I made a huge mistake.  Yep, I went onto Facebook.  I was intrigued by some of these “Me too!” threads, so I read a few of them that looked interesting.  After reading some and replying to a couple, I realized how bad I was feeling; i was sick and angry, but probably not for the reasons you think.

Sure, I’m sick and angry to hear about these things happening in a supposedly advanced society.  

I’m sick and angry that these hate-filled people even exist and some have risen to prominence.

I’m sick and angry that other people have turned a blind eye to this behavior, especially when their personal fortunes are supported by those hate-filled deviant people.

All these reasons should go without saying, but, as a man, there are other reasons too.

I’m sick and angry that women don’t seem to be able to protect themselves.  When will I hear a story about a woman who took out her attacker?  I haven’t seen one since college.

I’m sick and angry that feminist agendas against men are already being pushed based on these events.

I’m sick and angry that people continue to insist there is a “rape culture” rather than recognizing that these behaviors are hate crimes and not a basis of ANY culture.

I’m sick and angry that misandrists are already attacking the male gender and denigrating all men for the behavior of a few hateful deviants.

I’m sick and angry that some men continue to believe they need to denigrate and emasculate themselves in apology for the few hateful deviants.

I’m sick and angry that the denigration of men in general will prevent anyone from teaching young men and boys proper masculine behavior, resulting in a cascade of more problems in the future.

I’m sick and angry of hearing about “toxic masculinity”, when these behaviors are far, far from being anything remotely masculine.

Finally, I’m sick and angry that I haven’t been able to take a dry wall saw and castrate any of the men who had attacked women I had known who could add to the “Me Too” list.

Sick and angry is not a feeling I want to nurture.  I think I’m going to take a break from all media for a while before I throw up.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The Masculinity Revelation


One of my ongoing endeavors has been studying and learning the aspects of masculinity.  I’m not the only one to do so.  Smarter men, and more prolific writers and bloggers than I have attempted to do the same.  I’ve never wanted to simply rehash the work of other people; I’ve wanted to add my own perspectives to the knowledge base.  

Masculinity is difficult to pin down, and intelligent discourse is even more difficult.  When it comes to masculinity, people hold tons of hidden assumptions, and hold many hidden agendas. A person needs to get past these assumptions and agendas to truly understand masculinity.  You can't really trust a definition provided by somebody with an agenda.  Instead, I believe a male needs to experience a process of learning what masculinity is for himself.  These are my efforts to do so, and I'm sharing them with you hoping you find them useful on your journey.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Meme Culture

Do you have a question?  About anything?  From simple questions about cats to more complex queries on quantum mechanics, the answer exists out there, somewhere, on the internet. The internet has made information so easily available that complete and well thought answers to complicated questions can be communicated in gory detail just as easily as simple answers.  Detailed explanations, full length articles and essays can be transmitted easily straight to anyone's smart phone!  Information has become democratized and freely available.

That very same internet has inundated us with so much information and junk that we can’t begin to read those articles.  We can’t find anything anymore; there’s just too much to sift through.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Return of the Red Pill

Warning: Explicit Content

If you’re a Red Pill kind of guy, then you know all about what I’m going describe.  This article is not for you.  This article is written for any guy who is new to the Red Pill, or has heard about it and is curious. There are some things the Red Pill guys know, but the new guys probably don’t get.

A while back I wrote an article on The Red Pill, a theory promulgated by certain males who inhabit /r/TheRedPill on reddit.com.  I was not very kind to these guys or their theory at the time.  I feel a little guilty about that.  Perhaps I was too quick to judge.  Perhaps I was suffering from confirmation bias at the time, that is, I was looking for faults therefore I found them.

Since I was feeling guilty for a hasty judgement, I felt I should go back and look a little deeper into the Red Pill and see if I was off base. I spent 2 weeks reviewing and participating on /r/TheRedPill and getting to know it.  Was I originally too harsh?  You be the judge. 

Sunday, March 19, 2017

I Remember When I Lost My Mind

A Lesson in Cognitive Dissonance

Good music is hard to find nowadays.  Most pop music is formulaic and repetitive It might have a good beat, or be danceable, but it’s nothing special. A song that’s memorable, or touches you in some way, is a rare find nowadays.  A few years back I found one that resonated with me.  The song is Crazy, not by Patsy Cline, but by Gnarls Barkley, as written by Cee Lo Green.  I know crazy when I see it, even if I only see it in hindsight. Let's look at the lyrics.

I remember when,
I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place
Even your emotions have an echo in so much space

I do remember when I lost my mind.  I think there were 4 times in my life I went crazy, and not in a good way.  Each one had a name: Vicki, Robin, Lora, and Rita.  For a musical artist like Cee Lo, crazy might be a pleasant place for creativity, but my emotions in that crazy space were very unpleasant.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Five Important Lessons from "The Year of Better Decisions"

Last year around this time, I designated 2016 to be “The Year of Better Decisions”.   The general principle was to stop making New Year’s resolutions, to stop making S.M.A.R.T. goals, and to stop setting deadlines for accomplishments.  In other words, avoiding all the typical methods of improving one’s life at the start of the year.  Did it work?

Well, perhaps.  I am definitely not worse off after 2016.  In fact, I’ve learned a few new things and have taken some new actions to improve my life.  I think the lessons are the most valuable things i should share.

Choosing the better decision all the time is definitely a good idea and it worked well for me, when I used the technique.  There are several problems that need to be addressed in order to make the system work. The first is straightforward. 

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Real Men Don't Walk This Way

As I post this, Donald Trump has been President of the United States for 14 days, and the United States is still holding together.

I’ve had a bunch of Facebook friends talk about participating in some of the protest marches around the country after the inauguration.  Some of the most popular ones are the women’s marches around the country.  I think I’d like to get a pussy hat just for the novelty of it, but I have no interest in walking with the women.  Sorry, I don’t walk that way. Other men should think twice about walking too.

No, it’s not because I don’t support the women.  I do empathize with their causes.  (In my more naive days, I once offered to publicly speak against Rush Limbaugh’s misogynistic behavior.)  And it’s not because my knees are slowly going out and I couldn’t tolerate the walk.  Heaven knows I could use the exercise.  No, the reason I’m not interested in walking is I am, after all, male, not female.

You see, I don’t believe men should be participating in women’s causes except under a few circumstances.  Let me explain.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Exposing Evil to the Self-Aware Man

I have seen quite a few presidential elections in my time, but I've never witnessed so many people, including ones I know, fall prey to the evil that has arisen out of this latest one.

Now, let's be clear about evil. True evil doesn't stand up and announce itself. True evil doesn't lay out its plans for all to see. While you're focused on the obvious things you simply disagree with, true evil is attacking from within like a virus. 

True evil infects when you are most vulnerable, when you are confused and upset, when you undergo cognitive dissonance. When emotional and intellectual immune systems are compromised the virus takes hold in otherwise good people.

True evil changes people almost as rapidly and thoroughly as mythical zombie viruses. A person can be espousing the importance of love over hate one month, and then be spewing the most vile, despicable hatred a mere two months later. You've probably seen minor examples when a person suddenly exhibits "sour grapes" behavior by disliking something he or she previously loved. The process is real. With true evil, the change is much more  dramatic and disturbing to watch. 

True evil isn't sour grapes. True evil is to sour grapes as dementia and Alzheimers disease are to a headache. You see, the true evil virus attacks the mind faster than either. The true evil virus destroys a person's ability to think critically. It distorts truth until truth is unrecognizable. It destroys any sense of scale, reducing everything to false dichotomies. It razes reason and makes previously abhorred behavior feasible, even justifiable. Most terribly, it provides a dopamine rush of purpose and self-value which was lost while vulnerable. It's addictive. Like most addictive substances, it makes the victim unable to recognize the true evil when the victim looks in the mirror of their soul. 

True evil attempts to deliberately pass itself from person to person. There are people who are master persuaders with no moral compass that are paid to do this. It seems to be everywhere in the United States right about now. At least it gets lots of press and TV coverage, two major disease vectors. There is probably much less than a 10% infection rate, but even a few percent is a lot. 

Fortunately, the biggest safeguard against true evil is to recognize it. Self-awareness and a sense of personal values act as immunity to true evil. With self-awareness and an understanding of the evil, infection can easily be avoided. The disease vectors are easy to recognize. False dichotomies, faulty reasoning, distorted truth and discussion of abhorrent behavior are the obvious symptoms. These are easily avoided by a self-aware person. The evil cannot infect you unless you let it by compromising your mental immune system. 

Can this disease be cured? Will it run its course and die off? Over the millennia, true evil has surfaced many times and the results weren't pretty. Wars, genocide, racial murders, persecution, religion-based killings; none are pleasant. They all result from infections run rampant. The evil eventually died off, but much damage was done. Lesser instances of evil died off fairly quickly. Let's hope there is a cure. Awareness, vigilance, an emphasis on truth and readily available information to counteract the illogic and false dichotomies helps. And it helps when the dopamine rush of purpose starts to fail. If there is no purpose, there is no evil. 

Let's see to it that our friends who have succumbed to this are inoculated with the first dose of awareness. If you know anyone who has gone from love to hatred and from reason to fantasy, share this with them. We can conquer this.

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