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Monday, October 23, 2017

The Feminine Corollary

Continued from Part 1

A solid definition of masculinity goes a long way to helping men live masculine lives. Men are only half of humanity though. How does the other half define their lives? What is femininity?

Part 2: I Don’t Know Much About Femininity, But I Know What I Like

You don’t need a degree in women’s studies, psychology or  anthropology to understand femininity.  Femininity might be difficult to pin down, but people tend to recognize it without a formal definition. 

It’s common to view femininity as the “opposite” of masculinity.  But if masculinity is mastery, what is masculinity’s opposite?  To explore that, we have to explore the meaning of “opposite”.  Seriously.

Understanding Complementary Opposites

Western society has a scientific view of the world, a strictly logical view.  This strictly logical view can lead to some flawed outcomes.  In one view, if a thing with the simple name, A, has an opposite thing, named B, then we can say that B is “not A”.  If we combine B and A, we’re combining A and (not A) and the logical result is null, or nothing.  A and (not A) negate each other.  This is fine in the pure world of mathematics, but this is a flawed result in the real world of people, ideas and concepts.  It’s easy to say that (-1) + 1 = 0, but what cancels out love?  Is it hate?  What cancels out happiness?  Is it sadness?  Does femininity cancel out masculinity?  Some people actually believe this. 

Eastern philosophies have embraced a different view of the world, a much more flexible and sensible view.  Eastern societies seem to be more comfortable dealing with flexible views.  Some definitions are different from the mathematical / scientific definitions.  One example from Eastern philosophy is the Dao, or the yin-yang symbol.  I talk about it here.  Yin and yang are complementary opposites. They do not negate each other; they do not cancel each other out.  They are different from each other, yet they fit together, complement each other and form a perfect whole.  Where the yang is small, the yin fills in the space,  Where the yin is small, the yang fills the space.  They both carry some of the other inside themselves.



The Dao, the way of the universe, is defined by the interaction of the two, to create one-ness.  Without both, there is no unity of Dao.  

Masculinity and femininity are examples of yang and yin, the complementary opposites that interact to create a whole of human relationships.  Without both, there is no human society.

From the previous article: 
“Using the concept of complementary opposites, masculinity exists in relationship to femininity; femininity exists in relationship to masculinity.  We can only understand the concept of masculinity when it is compared to femininity, and understand femininity when it is compared to masculinity. “  


Masculinity and femininity do not cancel each other out; that’s an embarrassingly flawed view of the world.  Instead, consider this view: where masculinity is weak, femininity fills the gap.  Where femininity is weak, masculinity fills in the gap.  Both carry some of the other within themselves.  This is the postulate behind the rheteric.com interpretations of femininity and masculinity.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Sick and Angry? Me too.

It’s only a few days after the Harvey Weinstein revelations made big news and I made a huge mistake.  Yep, I went onto Facebook.  I was intrigued by some of these “Me too!” threads, so I read a few of them that looked interesting.  After reading some and replying to a couple, I realized how bad I was feeling; i was sick and angry, but probably not for the reasons you think.

Sure, I’m sick and angry to hear about these things happening in a supposedly advanced society.  

I’m sick and angry that these hate-filled people even exist and some have risen to prominence.

I’m sick and angry that other people have turned a blind eye to this behavior, especially when their personal fortunes are supported by those hate-filled deviant people.

All these reasons should go without saying, but, as a man, there are other reasons too.

I’m sick and angry that women don’t seem to be able to protect themselves.  When will I hear a story about a woman who took out her attacker?  I haven’t seen one since college.

I’m sick and angry that feminist agendas against men are already being pushed based on these events.

I’m sick and angry that people continue to insist there is a “rape culture” rather than recognizing that these behaviors are hate crimes and not a basis of ANY culture.

I’m sick and angry that misandrists are already attacking the male gender and denigrating all men for the behavior of a few hateful deviants.

I’m sick and angry that some men continue to believe they need to denigrate and emasculate themselves in apology for the few hateful deviants.

I’m sick and angry that the denigration of men in general will prevent anyone from teaching young men and boys proper masculine behavior, resulting in a cascade of more problems in the future.

I’m sick and angry of hearing about “toxic masculinity”, when these behaviors are far, far from being anything remotely masculine.

Finally, I’m sick and angry that I haven’t been able to take a dry wall saw and castrate any of the men who had attacked women I had known who could add to the “Me Too” list.


Sick and angry is not a feeling I want to nurture.  I think I’m going to take a break from all media for a while before I throw up.